Tuesday 3 September 2013

Mangata

I want to intoxicate myself with someone, I want to lie on top of them and feel them slowly lulling me to sleep as I am in full harmony with myself for once.

I’ve heard there are worse things other can high school, but I already think we all walk around knowing that the worst awaits us. 

I want to be infatuated with someone and I can’t, even looking back Draculaura seemed bleak and now knowing that she and my sister are an item, it gets harder holding on to what I thought was love. 

I had caught Clawdeen and Draculaura, it was bizarre up to the point that I stood in the doorway, it wasn’t jealousy but rather curiosity as me and Draculaura never had sex and there she had my sister between her legs and it was the first time I had seen her recieve any pleasure and then I found out, the best pleasure.

They both came out and I mourned as if it was a close death, but then, after Clawdeen came out as gay, Howleen started asking me if I had ever tried with male monsters, but I never had. Howleen was bisexual and she had told me it a while ago, saying that she has feeling for Twyla, but her feelings can be for anyone.

So she asked me, who do I see if I close my eyes?

I don’t think I even see anyone, besides darkness. 

That’s the thing and Howleen pouts herself.

Soon enough even she manages to write Twyla a love letter and once she heads back home, waiting for an answer she takes out her iCoffin and we start raiding everyone who we know in school and there is no one who is either single and attractive to me, there’s Heath, but just because he’s not an item with Abbey yet, doesn’t mean I can snag him off to myself.

So I am surrounded by love now with Twyla and Howleen giggling and everything thinks if my sibbilings are gay, wouldn’t the gene also get onto me?

But I don’t know.

I don’t know at all.

I can’t even concentrate on a test, so I wait for the right moment and I poke Valentine, who is sitting in front of me, it’s been too long and I don’t have any hard feelings and if he knows the answers for today there surely won’t be any hard feelings.

So I poke him harder until he turns around, looking angry and worried about his own test. I quickly poke him and show the question I am stuck on, which is everything.

The ex-heart breaker rolls his eyes and shows me two with his fingers.

I decide to recheck it and I see that, well, it was a fuck off, not a two.

So I’m stuck again with the darkness not even touching me briefly.

Eventually he passes me a note with how to solve it and I rewrite it, thankful that sometimes fate gives you a small gift which ends in one bite, but still manages to make it into your system. 

I avoid everyone and I just take the lunch and sit on a small table, possibly my sisters understanding that when you’re alone, you want to stay that way unless there is someone you want to share the sky you can’t give with. 

I see Valentine from a distance trying to appeal to some girl, but everyone knows the tricks up his sleeves. Maximum what he gets is a date or two, but it still amazes me how he tries. He notices me and I start eating my burger, looking at the window.

But as soon as he gets his food he sits opposite me, grinning. 

“Well... don’t you look miserable, today.” I swear I could kick him, but I don’t, still looking at the window and I’m nearly done with the burger. I stand up.

“I’ve heard about Draculaura.” That makes me stop, but then it’s not like no one knows about it, but I listen. “It’s not you, in this case, it’s just teams entirely.”

I look at him surprised and I sit back down, looking at him. 

Then I notice that even he looks sparkling when he tries to score, just like this alone, eating some creepateria soup, he sure looks miserable again. 

“Don’t worry, you’ll find yourself a vampire. I’m not saying any other monster, because vampires are the only worthy ones, you do know that, wolfie.” Val smirks and tries to see what I see out of the window, which is frankly nothing. I ignore his words, even in misery he’s still the same. 

I try to scrap off some conversation, as he seems to get my mind of Draculaura somehow, maybe because she dumped both of us by the end of the day.

“So... do you still steal hearts and stuff?” I ask. He just shakes his head. 

“I failed, so it just... well, not that I want to do it anyway. That time I looked at you and Draculaura and I kind of felt, well, maybe I’m doing something wrong. Who knows, maybe I wasn’t, but I still wanna try. More like people think that all I have is a sugar coating, believing that I’m still y’know- stealing hearts.” He says, sighing. 

-

I did this in maybe... two sittings?

I've been still pretty much down which is seen through out the story and I've started listening to the Arctic Monkeys, which is highly bizarre as I never liked their old stuff, but the new album seems pretty appealing, so yeah. 

I've also been writing more about men with men recently all of a sudden, I guess, it's about what is comfortable for me now, coz I write requests but I also write upcoming stuff or what I feel like. 

Currently I'm doing a massive monster which will be posted when the request comes up. 

I had both parts of the story coming to me through nearly falling asleep especially the Draculaura/Clawdeen scene. 

I quite enjoyed writing it and I like how it's actually going and I really hope all will be well with me, as my mind is still flooded with my misfortune, so yeah

I hope you enjoyed it and please do feel free to request :D

<3

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